A Little Advice

I recently had a close friend of mine, a displaced (or misplaced) Newf http://fieldbehindtheplow.blogspot.com (shameless plug)
write me an email fearing he had taken steps that would have been catastrophic to his male psyche. He had out of the goodness of his heart offered to vacuum, and clean…yes, I can feel all the males shuddering…Fortunately, I was able to intervene and send him the following email which should rectify the entire situation.

"I think you may have taken your first step down the path of irreversible domestication my friend. I have the following 4-step program to help you break the habit.

1- Stop at a bar on your way home from work, get pie-eyed
2- Leave bar got to liquor store, max out credit card
3- Come home, leave your shoes on and walk to the TV (stop at bathroom if necessary) turn on picture in picture sports channels.
4- Say things like "Hey you make me a sandwich," or "get me another beer," or "go wash my car...inside and out"
5- repeat as required.


Of course if this proves to be unsuccessful, use the following action in case of emergency.

1- Stop at Wal-Mart on your way home from work, get seashells for the back of toilet, and some flowers, for her, not the toilet.
2- Leave Wal-Mart go to jewelry store, max out credit card
3- Come home, take your shoes off, walk to the kitchen (stop at bathroom and put seashells on toilet) turn on front burner and back burner of stove as you prepare the latest gourmet fiesta you saw on Martha Stewart reruns instead of sports (The glazed lemon chicken is great…it worked for me)
4- Say things like "Hey baby, let me make you a sandwich" or "let me get you another glass of wine" or let me run a bath for you, and give you a pedicure after"
5- repeat everyday, for the rest of your life."

Well I never claimed to be Dear Abby, but in a totally unrelated note; I heard the memorial service will be early next week, and there will be no viewing. I guess he didn't read the "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY!" fast enough. Oops.