A Rookie Runners Paradox.

Obviously I have not posted with great regularity as of late. Mostly as a result of my participation in a seven week course that begins the lead up to my deployment to Afghanistan in 07.

As I look at the history of my recent posts they are predominantly running based, and this shall be no exception. Though this will not be a race report but a commentary on running.

I begin by mentioning that I have been a runner for just shy of a year, and I have completed a couple 10k, one Half marathon, and participated in the CTRR. I do have some running goals for the future, CTRR 07, Full Marathon…etc. I feel comfortable in stating that running has become indoctrinated into my everyday life and is an official pastime.

However, during the aftermath of my last event I realized that my response to my results were, well, in a word…schizophrenic, or paradoxical. I am at once thrilled by the result; I felt I ran well, despite my belief I was not fully mentally prepared to run the event. I know that any running accomplishment that occurs these days trumps any previous running (with there is little of) and is becoming a second highlight reel in the history of Scotty’s Athletic Career. For these reasons I am content, I am happy, I am healthy.

However, it is when I compare the results of myself as an individual to those of the others who compete in the same event, or who are my age, and run similar events. As happy as I am with my running I am not ignorant of the fact that I consistently finish on the south side of half. And in no way what so ever am I a competitive runner. Which in itself, semantically, is a paradox because I am extremely competitive by nature.

This is where my problems begin I find myself discouraged by these truths. Before you think me insane I know I will never win an event I do not have the time, talent, or discipline to achieve this. I would simply like to be a “good” runner, on the north side of half…

I am at the same time proud that I achieved another PB on my latest 10k, yet realistic enough to know that it is only my third real 10k event, and I have likely yet to plateau so it is almost an unfair celebration.

The questions this leaves me with are:

Will I ever be faster? How fast can I be?
Is my running ability/ fitness still in its immaturity, and therefore hard to say?
How much faster would I be 15-20lbs lighter?

There are more questions but you get my gist…And I have no means by which to answer these questions.

The morale of this rambling monologue boils down to…I have some running goals, but I do not know how to temper my expectations.
I would hope that these are fears and questions that many new runners have experienced…and that there is some sage wisdom out there among the masses to allay these fears…